28 July 2008

Repeat After Me: I'm Nineteen. I'm Old and Going Gray.

I don't think I have a healthy concept of how old I am. This is not to say that I think I'm super young while in fact I'm all grown-up, mature, and adult-ish. Because let's be honest. I'm not old. But, while I'm not old, I'm older than I think. Frankly, I don't think I have a good idea of what being 19 is. Here is my proof:

I went to the LDS Twin Falls Temple Open House this past weekend. Before entering the temple, volunteers sit near the doors to help you slip plastic covers over your street shoes to protect the carpet. As we neared the front doors, I realized that the shoe-covering volunteers were youthful males. And my heart did a flip. Not in a swooning way, but in a oh-goodness-don't-let-me embarrass-myself way. Okay, so maybe those two different types of heart flips are one and the same. Regardless, I definitely noticed that the boys who helped me with my shoe covers were cute. I smiled and said an especially pleasant thank you.

As this happened, I glanced at my reflection in the stained glass window near the front doors. The cute boy was slipping on my shoe cover and I saw the two of us in the window. Suddenly, I noticed something that shocked me. Me and this boy were not in the same peer group. In fact, I was an old lady compared to him. The boy was around fourteen years old! What?! And I was conscious of him and his cuteness?! Ahhh! He's a middle school student who probably still picks his nose and makes noises with a sweaty armpit. Sick, eh? But really, when I saw him, I swear I was looking at a a male peer. I don't know what that means. I think it means I need professional help. Apparently, I still think of myself as a fourteen year old tortured middle school soul.

The whole incident reminded me of Thirteen Going on Thirty. You know what I'm talking about. Jennifer Garner thinks a young boy is cute and is nervous talk to him at the restaurant. She finally does and her friend has to tell her that hitting on a twelve year old is illegal.

Anyway, I need help. Counseling I guess? Maybe I should walk around repeating to myself, I'm nineteen. I'm nineteen. I'm nineteen. And hopefully one day, it'll settle in.

1 comment:

Tyler said...

oh boy...daydreaming about deacons while studying for accounting? i dunno about you ;)