20 September 2008

The Profile Problem

The question game goes like this: one person, one and a half minutes, everyone asks questions, the one person answers the questions, everyone laughs. Yes, if you're not careful, the game could easily become a seventh grade truth-or-dare nightmare.

They asked me, "What is your least favorite of your physical features?" And I said, "The Profile Problem." And they said, "What?" And I said, "Yes. Some people have profile pleasures, I have a profile problem."

Now, don't get me wrong, when they asked, "What is your favorite of your physical features?" I had an answer. The hair color I inherited from my mom for instance, it's a favorite of mine. Or my blue eyes that I got from my dad, I like those too. But, the profile that I inherited from the... Witch of Blackbird of Pond... no, that wasn't the answer to the second question.

I could give a deep analysis about how my upper jaw is a little too far forward or about how the little bit of extra skin under my chin sticks out in a kind of unflattering way. And then I could analyze about how my nose is an interesting shape and the bottom piece hangs down and the outer edges flare out reminding me of a old man with a toothless grin. I could tell you about how my forehead is large and flat and how that's a disaster. But, I'll spare you that kind of analytical nonsense and instead show you a few pictures.

Exhibit A: My unfortunate profile on a Sunday afternoon in Hyde Park.

Exhibit B: My good friend's stunning profile. I posted this to give you a good idea of what an excellent profile looks like, not because I covet it in any way shape or form. Because, I would never covet, no never. I would never want to sport such a stunning combination of facial features. The beauty would just be too difficult to live with.

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