10 January 2009

If I Could Do Anything And Everything I Would:

- Be a food network television show host. I would pour pre-measured ingredients out of little glass bowls that would then be whisked away to other people's kitchen sinks. There would always be a hair stylist and make-up artist on call so I would always look perfect while I baked my tiramisu. My apron would be red.

-Work in a high-rise, touch-the-sky, New York tower. And I would wear pencil skirts and high heels. My specific job would be of no consequence. The important thing is that I would spend five minutes every day listening to my phone messages accompanied by the elevator music as I rode from the ground to my office on the 43rd floor.

-Eat breakfast in bed. Every day. And I would never be late for work or school because of it. My sheets would stay clean too. I would never drip syrup on my pillow.

-Spend a year in Africa. Because I love hot air and giraffes and new experiences. I would bring a single writing utinsel. Preferably a pencil. I would sharpen it with a knife, or my teeth. When the pencil became a stub the size of my baby toe, I would declare the year in Africa over. I'd bring back a journal that I wrote using the single pencil and it would be published. I'd title my journal A Lone Pencil in Africa.

- Find my soul mate who would be wearing an argyle sweater, loafers, and a scarf and we would sit on the ground with grape juice and crushed ice talking about that one time we rode bikes to the local library and I crashed on the way home because the book-filled grocery sack that was draped across the handlebars of my bike split and the books spilled all over. I ended up on the sidewalk with a nice scrape on my elbow. Don't worry, he would have laughed at me when it happened (as he put my books in his grocery sack) and he would laugh again when we told the story over grape juice. He would laugh a lot, at me. I would laugh at him too.

- Take portraits. Good ones too. And my kids would be lucky because they'd have the best portraits ever. And even if my babies were ugly, a gigantic fear of mine, no one would ever know because their baby pictures would be so beautiful. People go from ugly to beautiful through good portrait photography all the time. Think Paris Hilton.

- Shave my head to find out if I have a good head shape. Some people have good head shapes and some people don't. The people that do can pull off baldness. I've always wondered if baldness would become me. And if it would, then I'd live bald.

- Marry Winston Churchill. Take that back, I'd be Winston. In female form of course. And I would go by his wife's name, Clementine. Winston was wonderful. And superhuman. Did you know he fed his fish every morning? Seriously, who does that?! You got it-- superhumans.

-Go to bed early just once to see what it feels like to obey commandments. I wonder if God knew that the disregard for His "early to bed, early to rise" direction would be the most widespread sin.

- Plant a garden in honor of my mom and her dad. Tomatoes would be the feature vegetable (or are they a fruit; I'm never sure). I would make the unripened tomatoes into green tomato salsa in honor of Mike, our cabinet carpenter, who brought us cans of the salsa when he came to install cabinets. We paid him for the cabinets and not the salsa. He was a generous man; it was good salsa.

If I could do anything and everything, I would.

1 comment:

whit said...

Laura Laura Laura, taking a pencil to Africa? Clearly you use a computer more than a journal, because if you kept a years worth of thoughts in a journal using a pencil it would be awfully smeared and unreadable after a year. I suggest a pen. But if it was the drama of sharpening the pencil with your teeth that enticed you, you could always concoct your own ink from exotic berries or even animal blood. Now that would be a new experience.