Change

The decision to change. For some, it’s a moment in time, an epiphany of sorts. For others, it’s a process. In my case, it was a moment, a sudden realization. It was the moment he, shocked and bewildered, said, “You press snooze for an hour?! Every morning?!” That was the moment when I knew something had to change. Until he said that, I didn’t know that it was a serious problem, so I hadn’t seriously considered changing.

The latest possible time that I can climb out of bed and still arrive punctually to class is permanently embedded within me. This “latest possible time” doesn't allow for eating, showering, or packing a lunch; it only allows for flying out of bed, dressing, picking up my backpack, finding my keys, and arriving in time for the quiz. I cannot will myself to get up earlier than that embedded time. Every night I optimistically set my alarm clock for an earlier time because I honestly believe that the next morning will be the morning that I eat a solid breakfast, take a relaxing shower, and maybe even put on deodorant. But it never happens. I snooze, for an hour, every morning. I throw away the shower, the breakfast, and yes, sometimes even the deodorant for an extra six minutes times ten snoozes of sleep.

It’s a problem. I know that now. I aim to make change. In order to successfully change, I'm going to have to convince my morning-self that more awake time is more valuable than more sleep time, especially since the extra sleep time is broken sleep—interrupted by a blaring alarm every six minutes. I must make the breakfast, shower, and deodorant more rewarding than the last hour of semi-sleep. To make it more rewarding (since apparently a full stomach and a clean body are not rewarding enough), I will establish a material reward for myself. Seven days of earlier wake-ups will earn me a bag of sour watermelons and a 70% cocoa chocolate bar. Earlier in this case will be defined as at least two fewer snoozes than the regular ten. After seven days of earlier wake-ups, I will increase the goal to earlier wake-ups for two straight weeks, then three straight weeks, and ultimately a lifetime of decreased snoozing. In order to succeed, I will need to garner the support of close friends and family for accountability.

They say envisioning the ideal future helps one make change. I can envision it. I can imagine days of peaceful wake-ups, void of snoozing. The phone will ding-a-ling and I’ll sit up, gracefully slide out of bed, nonchalantly pull out my day’s clothes, jump joyfully into the shower, come out to a full breakfast and a prepared sack lunch, before skipping slowly from my house to my classroom— because you know, there will be plenty of time to get to class without a car.

This is my proposal for change. I can do it and I will do it. I will begin tomorrow. I will envision my snooze-free life, sour watermelons, and 70 % cocoa and I will climb out of bed two snoozes early. I can change. I will change.