14 September 2009

Change

The decision to change. For some, it’s a moment in time, an epiphany of sorts. For others, it’s a process. In my case, it was a moment, a sudden realization. It was the moment he, shocked and bewildered, said, “You press snooze for an hour?! Every morning?!” That was the moment when I knew something had to change. Until he said that, I didn’t know that it was a serious problem, so I hadn’t seriously considered changing.

The latest possible time that I can climb out of bed and still arrive punctually to class is permanently embedded within me. This “latest possible time” doesn't allow for eating, showering, or packing a lunch; it only allows for flying out of bed, dressing, picking up my backpack, finding my keys, and arriving in time for the quiz. I cannot will myself to get up earlier than that embedded time. Every night I optimistically set my alarm clock for an earlier time because I honestly believe that the next morning will be the morning that I eat a solid breakfast, take a relaxing shower, and maybe even put on deodorant. But it never happens. I snooze, for an hour, every morning. I throw away the shower, the breakfast, and yes, sometimes even the deodorant for an extra six minutes times ten snoozes of sleep.

It’s a problem. I know that now. I aim to make change. In order to successfully change, I'm going to have to convince my morning-self that more awake time is more valuable than more sleep time, especially since the extra sleep time is broken sleep—interrupted by a blaring alarm every six minutes. I must make the breakfast, shower, and deodorant more rewarding than the last hour of semi-sleep. To make it more rewarding (since apparently a full stomach and a clean body are not rewarding enough), I will establish a material reward for myself. Seven days of earlier wake-ups will earn me a bag of sour watermelons and a 70% cocoa chocolate bar. Earlier in this case will be defined as at least two fewer snoozes than the regular ten. After seven days of earlier wake-ups, I will increase the goal to earlier wake-ups for two straight weeks, then three straight weeks, and ultimately a lifetime of decreased snoozing. In order to succeed, I will need to garner the support of close friends and family for accountability.

They say envisioning the ideal future helps one make change. I can envision it. I can imagine days of peaceful wake-ups, void of snoozing. The phone will ding-a-ling and I’ll sit up, gracefully slide out of bed, nonchalantly pull out my day’s clothes, jump joyfully into the shower, come out to a full breakfast and a prepared sack lunch, before skipping slowly from my house to my classroom— because you know, there will be plenty of time to get to class without a car.

This is my proposal for change. I can do it and I will do it. I will begin tomorrow. I will envision my snooze-free life, sour watermelons, and 70 % cocoa and I will climb out of bed two snoozes early. I can change. I will change.

3 comments:

Marilyn Lewis said...

So how are you doing? Any sour watermelons & cocoa in your future!!!!

k&b said...

Laura - I love you for your snooooooo-ooo-ooo-zing! Because like you, Darling, LOVE the sunrise, leisurely breakfasts, meditating in the morning BUT . . .(yes, I believe in change too!)

what I've learned? I tell myself I "go to bed" at 9:30--then instead of saying that at 10:30 and REALLY climbing in bed at 11:30, I happily find myself ready to close my eyes at 10:30pm.
Point: it starts the night before.

How I console myslef--"Well I'm a stranger on this earth! and time -measured by man-is not natural, but alien---to me and other souls alighted to mortality who feel the foreign-ness of the clicking clock. (For irony's sake, I do like clocks, I have three large ones on my mantel above my fireplace Laura! To remind me of the importance of managing my time? To remind me of the fleeting state of life? That time as we know it is contrived by man, and therefore, shoddy? hehe)

So here's to your bag of sour watermelon (which I also love):

According to Forbes magazine, what is the one thing "successful" people have in common?
Yup.
They're all up. early. without a snooze -- and some without an alarm at all.

So go get that chocolate bar too.

xx
Kiersten

PS. Will you please look for a girl near and dear to me at the Y?
Rebecca Johnson. She is one of my friends, young women, from our ward in NJ. I think she lives in Helaman Halls. You could give her all the "goods" on the Y and Provo . . . ;) Let me know! I gave her your name too. She is lovely, sparkling eyes-in the truest sense- and all.

Slide said...

Your methods of guaranteeing this change within yourself seem to be all the recommended ones.

Or at least, all the sorts of things that I end up getting after hitting one of my "self-improvement" google-fests.

How did this work out for you?